A few days ago, I made a big mistake. Against all my better judgement, I got involved in a political discussion on social media.
Oh dear.
The debate itself was relatively unimportant – a rather badly-phrased question about transgenderism. In any case, proponents of both sides of the argument started weighing into each other with increasing viciousness and irrationality. The whole debate mostly descended into a metaphorical shouting match of abuse, hasty conclusions and personal attacks.
I then made the cardinal mistake and entered into the debate, trying to ask for some decency and rational argument. Below is my original comment:
Forgive me, but from my point of view this entire comment thread was entirely pointless, mostly just a mass of jumping to conclusions, insults, and vague nothings thrown at each other (by both sides). If you are not going to engage rationally (or at least decently) with each other, what the hell is the point of bothering?
I will admit that this was perhaps not as well-phrased as it perhaps should have been – it might have sounded somewhat aloof and ‘superior’, though that was certainly not the intention at all. Nevertheless, I was instantly turned upon. Before long, and entirely based on that one comment, I was accused of sexism; arrogance; and a lack of principles. I was even accused of ‘impartiality’, as if that was a bad character trait! When I asked them to back up their accusations with evidence (I don’t mind being accused of something as long as it has some basis in fact) they refused to do so, but simply intensified the attacks. By the end, even my personal appearance (gleaned apparently from my profile picture) was criticised as well – what relevance this had to the debate I am not quite sure. Finally they got bored of insulting me, and I got bored of repeatedly asking for evidence of their accusations, and the whole thing petered out.
I do not relate this story as a way of garnering sympathy, but instead more as an anecdote to the sort of nonsense that gets thrown around in political discussion so much these days, especially on the internet. People get so tribalistic that they cannot even engage properly with dissenting opinions – or criticism – apart from hurling abuse. You will notice that my comment has absolutely nothing to do with the actual debate (over transgenderism) whatsoever – indeed, the people who threw the most abuse at me were generally from the side that I agreed with the most! All I asked for was some more reasonableness – a “conversation” rather than a “debate”, you might say – and I was shouted down. Keeping my cool and trying to be reasonable appeared to simply enflame my accusers rather than placate them.I knew that this sort of thing happened, but I had never really faced it so blatantly on a personal level until this incident. To be honest, I was more bewildered than anything else.
I don’t know what it is. Perhaps people subconsciously (or consciously) like the feeling of being apart of a group and attacking another ‘tribe’. Perhaps it is the semi-anonymity of the internet and the way you can abuse people without much actual repercussion or having to face them in the flesh as real human beings.
In the end, I guess that this whole enterprise showed me was how naïve I still can be. People transform and mutate in ugly ways online. On the internet, even friends become vicious, unpleasant, irrational, and unthinking. The worst aspects of our personalities appear hugely inflated online, and, usually held under wraps in the ‘real world’, are unleashed until they can dominate our discourse. In today’s hyper-sensitive and polarised political climate, discussion that is rational and decent has become rare even in the real world; online, it is indeed an endangered species.
I know there’s a serious side to this, but forgive me if I found in your plight a hilarious representation of a grotesque truth. There’s a great over-the-top comedy skit in there somewhere. This may show my age, but I wish Monty Python could do their version of this. (Btw, we connect on our blogs often, and I’m coming through the UK soon; email me thru my About page if you want to see if a coffee meetup is possible.)
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Oh, no forgiveness required, there is certainly a funny side to it which I did not fail to recognise! (As to the second, much appreciated, I may very well do so once I know when I get back to the UK myself!)
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Classic. How many times have you watched somebody try to break up a fight, only to become the target of both fighters? The fact is, the fighters want to keep fighting. The proponent of peace is thus seen as a threat.
There’s something about social media and Facebook in particular that lends itself to this time of barroom activity. I might have mentioned earlier trying to talk on Facebook with a dear friend who was very quiet and reasonable in “real life.” But when I tried to hold a conversation with the same person on Facebook, it was like trying to talk to a drunken lady sitting next to me on a barstool.
I do have a Facebook now, but I keep it on the down low. It *is* possible to have rational discussions, even about politics, on Facebook. But you have to choose your arenas very wisely. Peace and blessings to you, my brother.
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Many thanks! Not often we get messages of goodwill online these days….
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I left out the word “to” before become in the second sentence, if you feel like editing it on behalf of my ego.
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Done!
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Much obliged. You remind me somewhat of myself when I was younger, and I thought I should make a gesture of kinship. (I supposed I could have called you “sonny” instead of “brother,” but that would have stricken me as condescending, demeaning or patronizing in context. ) 😉
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hehehehe I’d hate to be accused of “impartiality” JK 😉 But seriously- how did they reach the sexist conclusion? Whatever, I shouldn’t overanalyse it- rational debates on social media are hard to come by. hahahaha that pie chart is spot on! So so true. Just as an example, I wrote a *very* (and I mean very- I am self aware enough when this is not the case) mild mannered comment on a youtube video the other day. Now, despite the fact I’d only disagreed with one point, the actual youtuber went to the trouble of commenting (a very sophisticated argument- and I quote- “retard”). What’s even more bizarre is that the video was very well received video and the person had thousands of likes… so yeah it made me realise how unwilling people are to hear any kind of dissent. I think that spending time only with people that agree all the time on everything online just makes people more tribalistic- to the point where they attribute dissent as a sign that the dissenter is *the enemy*. It’s quite sad actually.
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Very sad. I also usually assume that if they resort to name calling and abuse, it means they cannot rationally answer your criticism either.
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So true 😉
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Yep, I try to keep my true personal opinons to myself when it comes to the internet – People are more likely to attack your character rather than your point of view. So for me it has been best to avoid voicing my opinions online. By the way whens your next short story?
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Oh dear, I didn’t think of writing one! My previous one was a bit of a one-off, but I’ve always got ideas running around in my head….hmm. I think you may have spurred me on to try another one! 🙂
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